feb 13-

I was instantaneously and simultaneously totally aware
and not at all
It lasted hours longer, and I let it.
I still feel the lingering rush

It was shaky with an air of un-assurance
and within it’s newness, perfection.
my hand moved to his collar bone
And his hands fell to lock behind the small of my back
It took me beyond butterflies. astonished. astounded.
And it became more than ever possible
And I felt it—hours later still
In my arms, my legs, my fingertips—
More than a rush, more than a presence
It was like he had poured pop rocks into my bloodstream
And they reverberated off the limits of my existence
That moment, that brief moment surpassed all-consuming
three and a half seconds before it ever happened

And we were both so unsure
About the timing, the suppression of desire
or the brief release of it
Seeing in his face the same questioning I felt
But it was perfect. Because he knew and I knew
And we said nothing, held back by our piercing nerves
And circumstance.

the book was not a book,
but my clandestine attempt to bring him to me again,
once more, because I wanted
but blithely needed
what I didn’t even know
until he gave me
a pop rocks kiss.