breakup note

a guy friend and i once decided that we were such good friends, that we should date. So we plan this dinner date, and we've decided that at the end of it there would be a decisive kiss, after which we would know if we were meant to date. So the end of the night brings an awkward and totally out of place kiss. Both of us couldn't help but cringe with disgust afterwards. So over dessert we get really into writing break-up poems to each other on napkins and trying not to upset the other restaurant goers with out obscene and untamed laughter. This was my break-up poem:

I do not enjoy you, Spiderman
you just don't fit in my life plan
Anime is not my thing
and now i wish to end our fling
i would consider a dorky guy
but calling you dorky would be a lie
you rap a lot in japanese
you're always sick you snotty sneeze!
your mullet isn't very cool
when you speak you sound a fool
gaming is for junior high
your pinky nail makes me want to die
you only own one single shirt
from Kmart, so it must be dirt
i'm sorry but i must retreat
i just don't think you're very neat.

i wish i had a copy of his poem, it was much funnier than mine.