.....

I want to fall asleep to your voice. You keep me safe. And you keep me so well that there are few chances for me to keep you. You asking me to read as you fall asleep was my chance to keep you.

It was one the greatest feeling I think I’ve ever felt, having him call me because he’d been woken up by some noise at 2am. He asked me to read to him, whatever I was reading at the time. I pulled out an old book of fairy tales and read him ‘the juniper tree’. Fifteen minutes later, I could tell he was asleep, but I kept reading for fifteen more minutes until I finished the whole fairy tale. I sleepily wished him sweet dreams, told him I missed him, and wished I could be there with him.

I miss the way I feel when he looks at me


When someone takes care of you so well, you find yourself needing more and more of them and finding comfort in the safety they provide that you get caught up in being taken care of and being kept that sometimes when you’re needed and he needs to be kept, I find myself realizing just how much he keeps me. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. My eyes burn because they don’t see him. My lips are cold and kissless. My arms are empty and my back is bare. My hands find no comfort holding each other. I wish that I could reach into my daydreams and make him really here. I can’t ask for the impossible, I know he can’t be here to put me to bed when I can’t sleep; yet somehow, I keep wishing.